"Innocence Betrayed - A Dad's Story of Clergy Misconduct" - An intriguing and heart-wrenching story of a pastor's manipulation, church administrators' betrayal and a man's hope of survival.
click on "Add Comment" under blog entry to respond
Guest Book

Memorial Day 2008 - Curt

Memorial Day 2008

Today will always be a special day as we honor those military personal who have defended this great nation in time of need. We also send out our love to all the families that have had, or do have current members that are currently in active duty. May God always be at your side!

My father, a former marine, always taught me that in the military a soldier always follows orders. No questions asked, you just follow orders and perform the ordered command. Pretty serious commands and many soldiers never return home as a result from being a good soldier defending our freedom!

Today we are also praying for our nation's churches. Every one of them, no matter what the nameplate says on the church door. You see, many great church members follow the commands of our church clergy much like a soldier follows a command in the military. Without any questions and absolute trust in what they tell you. They preach things like it's not Christian-like to judge others. In other words do not get involved, and that's toxic thinking when dealing with issues of clergy misconduct, and abuse.

So like good Christians, we do not get involved because we are commanded by God's representative to not judge! Our book shows you why this type of thinking can lead to actions that can almost destroy an innocent American family. But even more importantly gives clues to other family members on how they can help the victims. We ask that all of us as a great nation become aware and get involved to help the many victims and their families that are out there today, lost, innocent without a voice may you be their voice of hope and the love of God!

Curt

Our Thoughts After the Pope's Visit

Curt and I have voraciously been reading the news reports on the Pope's visit all week.  He brought the problem of clergy sexual abuse to the world's attention, but he left without solutions for the victims. He's assuring people that they can come back to church now because they're making things better in the Church.  He just didn't say how.  No word of the accountability issue.

SNAP (www.survivorsnetwork.org) says, "Strong words must be followed by strong actions that have measurable results."  The website is packed with valuable information and lists the five concrete child protection measures that SNAP is asking the Pope to implement over the next six months to a year.

Our book, Innocence Betrayed - A Dad's Story of Clergy Misconduct is the "alarm" and tells what happens when clergy misconduct goes unchecked or flat out ignored.  It can lead a victim down the horrible path to clergy sexual abuse.  We give information on where a victim can go for help on our website at www.innocencebetrayedbyclergy.com. 

The Innocence Betrayed Workbook was written to offer solutions to victims right now.  It will aid in recognizing the "grooming process," which is a finely tuned manipulation process that may go on over a long period of time.  The Workbook lists prevention tips to help eradicate and one day stomp out clergy sexual abuse. The Pope asked his churches to open their doors to the victims to hear their stories and to aid them in their healing process.  He didn't leave parishioners with tips on what to do or say to help victims, but our workbook does offer that type of information.  

The problem is not just within the Catholic Church.  It happens in all denominations.  And the trap is very much the same in each case.  The general public needs to know what the pedophiles know about manipulating a victim.  Clergy misconduct always leads to abuse.  The books explain why the Pope said he was "ashamed."  It explains why victims also feel ashamed.

Curt and I feel that change must come from the outside, not inside the church.  It's going to have to be a societal change without pressure to meet the statute of limitations, which we feel should be lifted.  This could be the critical first step towards change.  Clergy should be held to the same standards that we hold our teachers, coaches, and anyone who works with children.  All clergy should have their fingerprints on a national database, and we feel it's important for mandatory background checks and regular psychiatric evaluations to take place.  This is just a small part of slowing down the predator preachers.  After all, a minister plays the intimate duel role of a counselor as well as a spiritual leader and should applaud the implementation of these procedures.

Our clergy members are God's representatives on earth.  It's time to seal the cracks that predator clergy crawl through to gain access to our children and vulnerable adults.

We encourage you to respond and let us know what you think. 


April Press Release - Cry for Change - Politicians and Family Values

'Politicians cry out for the need for change and the importance of family values.  Our book is about protecting the family, and our hope is to make families safe from predators by crying out for change . . . '

- H.J. Wisocki & C.J. Szajnecki, authors of the newly released book, 'Innocence Betrayed: A Dad's Story of Clergy Misconduct' and new companion Workbook.

CONTACT: Helen Wisocki and Curt Szajnecki, Betrayedbyclergy@comcast.net

MEDIA ADVISORY, April 10,2008 - "We want to shine the light on the issue of misconduct, and our book hopes to protect not only the innocent children, but the entire family unit.  Our nation's beloved churches need to see important changes take place," stresses Szajnecki.

"People are aware of professional exploitation that may occur with teachers, coaches, therapists, doctors, etc., but the book educates and illustrates the need for transparency and accountability at the church level," adds Wisocki.

This is a story of a man running against precious time to save his family from an enemy who brilliantly conceals his dark heart while holding a respected position of authority.  After his wife is captured, the man worries that his daughters are next into the web of lies, deceit and perversion by their trusted pastor.  Time speeds on.  The deception unfolds.  He frantically searches for help.  But he finds more dens of betrayal and trickery, as the church administration minimizes the claims instead of offering help.  "The book is the perfect storm on why change in our nation's churches should be a top priority," says Szajnecki.

    "Only through our politicians and the involvement of our nation's citizens will transparency in our churches take place," states Wisocki.  "We must all do what we can to slash through the thickets of institutionalized indifference." 

The emergency Innocence Betrayed Workbook, for use by individuals or in group settings, aids in teaching how to read the "Signs" of the "Grooming Process" used by a predator authority figure to manipulate and gain access to a victim's inner thoughts and vulnerabilities.
    
    The website is an awareness center with information on where to go for guidance through the help groups, SNAP, Advocate Web, and The Hope of Survivors.  The Innocence Betrayed Workbook will help guide those in trauma or shock towards healing.
   
For more information about Innocence Betrayed: A Dad’s Story of Clergy Misconduct, visit www.innocencebetrayedbyclergy.com. To book an interview, email your request to betrayedbyclergy@comcast.net











3 insurers shed light on Protestant church sex abuse

June 14, 2007, The Houston Chronicle
3 insurers shed light on Protestant church sex abuse

By ROSE FRENCH
Associated Press

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — The three companies that insure the majority of Protestant churches in America say they typically receive upward of 260 reports each year of young people under 18 being sexually abused by clergy, church staff, volunteers or congregation members.

The figures released to The Associated Press offer a glimpse into what has long been an extremely difficult phenomenon to pin down — the frequency of sex abuse in Protestant congregations.

Religious groups and victims' supporters have been keenly interested in the figure ever since the Roman Catholic sex abuse crisis hit five years ago. The church has revealed that there have been 13,000 credible accusations against Catholic clerics since 1950.

Protestant numbers have been harder to come by and are sketchier because the denominations are less centralized than the Catholic church; indeed, many congregations are independent, which makes reporting even more difficult.

Some of the only numbers come from three insurance companies — Church Mutual Insurance Co., GuideOne Insurance Co. and Brotherhood Mutual Insurance Co.

Together, they insure 165,495 churches and worship centers for liability against child sex abuse and other sexual misconduct, mostly Protestant congregations but a few other faiths as well. They also insure more than 5,500 religious schools, camps and other organizations.

The companies represent a large chunk of all U.S. Protestant churches. There are about 224,000 in the U.S., according to the Association of Statisticians of American Religious Bodies, although that number excludes most historically black denominations and some other groups, which account for several thousand congregations.

Church Mutual, GuideOne and Brotherhood Mutual each provided statistics on sex abuse claims to The Associated Press, although they did not produce supporting documentation or a way to determine whether the reports were credible.

The largest company, Church Mutual, reported an average of about 100 sex abuse cases a year involving minors over the past decade. GuideOne, which has about half the clients of Church Mutual, said it has received an average of 160 reports of sex abuse against minors every year for the past two decades.

Brotherhood Mutual said it has received an average of 73 reports of child sex abuse and other sexual misconduct every year for the past 15 years. However, Brotherhood does not specify which victims are younger than 18 so it is impossible to accurately add that to the total cases.

Abuse reports don't always mean the accused was guilty, and they don't necessarily result in financial awards or settlements, the companies said. The reports include accusations against clergy, church staff and volunteers.

Even with hundreds of cases a year "that's a very small number. That probably doesn't even constitute half," said Gary Schoener, director of the Walk-In Counseling Center in Minneapolis, a consultant on hundreds of Protestant and Catholic clergy misconduct cases. "Sex abuse in any domain, including the church, is reported seldom. We know a small amount actually come forward."

Tom Farr, general counsel and senior vice president of claims for GuideOne, based in West Des Moines, Iowa, said most abuse cases are resolved privately in court-ordered mediation. Awards can range from millions of dollars down to paying for counseling for victims, he said.

One of the largest settlements to date in Protestant churches involved the case of former Lutheran minister Gerald Patrick Thomas Jr. in Texas, where a jury several years ago awarded the minister's victims nearly $37 million. Separate earlier settlements involving Thomas cost an additional $32 million.

When insurance companies first started getting reports of abuse from churches nearly two decades ago, the cases usually involved abuse that happened many years earlier. But over the past several years, the alleged abuse is more recent — which could reflect a greater awareness about reporting abuse, insurance companies said.

Insurance officials said the number of sex abuse cases has remained steady over the past two decades, but they also said churches are working harder to prevent child sex abuse by conducting background checks, installing windows in nurseries and play areas and requiring at least two adults in a room with a child.

Patrick Moreland, vice president of marketing for Church Mutual, said churches are particularly susceptible to abusers.

"By their nature, congregations are the most trusting of organizations, so that makes them attractive targets for predators," he said. "If you're a predator, where do you go? You go to a congregation that will welcome you."

A victims' advocacy group has said the Southern Baptists, the nation's largest Protestant denomination, could do more to prevent abuse by creating a list of accused clergy the public and churches could access.

"I think they should have a list of credibly reported clergy child abuse," said Christa Brown, a member of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, a group initially created to hold the Catholic church accountable for sex abuse by its clergy.

"These are things people are entitled to know," said Brown, who says she was sexually abused as a child by a Southern Baptist minister. "The only way to prevent this crime is to break the code of silence and to have absolute transparency when allegations are raised."

At the Southern Baptist Convention's annual meeting in San Antonio this week, the Rev. Wade Burleson of Enid, Okla., proposed a feasibility study into developing a national database of Southern Baptist ministers who have been "credibly accused of, personally confessed to, or legally been convicted of sexual harassment or abuse."

A convention committee referred Burleson's motion to the SBC executive committee, which will report back with findings and a recommendation at next year's meeting in Indianapolis.

Southern Baptist President Frank Page said leaders are considering several options to help churches protect children against abuse.

"We believe that the Scripture teaches that the church should be an autonomous, independent organization," Page said. "We encourage churches to hold accountable at the local level those who may have misused the trust of precious children and youth."

Several years ago, the Baptist General Convention of Texas, which represents moderates who have increasingly distanced themselves from the conservative-led Southern Baptists, started a list of accused clergy for churches, but not the public. Under pressure from victim advocates, the Texas group just released the names of some convicted sex offenders who may have been ministers in local congregations.

Joe Trull, editor of Christian Ethics Today and retired ethics professor at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, helped the Texas convention create its registry and says there are now about 11 cases involving clergy abuse with minors.

But he believes these are just the "tip of the iceberg" because churches don't have to report abuse cases to the registry and aren't likely to.

"The problem we're having is that churches just weren't sending the names," Trull said. "In the normal scenario, they just try to keep it secret. We're going to have to be more proactive and let them know if they don't come forward, they're helping to perpetuate this problem."

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/headline/nation/4890603.html
   



"My people are destroyed for their lack of knowledge . . ." Hosea 4:6

Friend and fellow author, Linda Hiles has taken a quote from Ephesians and posted it not only in her book, "Arise, O Sleeper," but on her book site at www.lindahiles.com. 

We relate to these powerful words below in our battle to spread the word of the deception of church leaders.  Since publishing our book, many people have contacted us, and we've spoken to many unsuspecting future victims of clergy misconduct.  Our book shows the pathway of how a pastor can turn his direction from one with Christ to a ministry of seduction, using the grooming process to do so.

Most people don't seem to fully understand how wrong it is for a pastor to even give a woman parishioner a wink, let alone talk to her using sexually suggestive language.  Clergy members are supposed to be representatives of God--not trolling for a future mate or going after another man's mate or child while at church.   People seem to be blinded by these false prophets who are truly not God's representatives and only out for their own gain--sexually and financially.  

We ask others how they feel about these words as they relate to clergy sexual misconduct and abuse?

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of praying for all the saints."
(Ephesians 6:10-18)

Helen and Curt

SNAP - Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests

We have so much for which to thank Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP). They are the nation's oldest and largest help group for those who have suffered from misconduct and/or abuse by either priests, ministers, or clergy in general. 

They were there when I needed them the most many years ago when looking for someone to listen and not turn a deaf ear on my cries.  Although I though they were only involved with abuse by Catholic clergy, I found them to be open to getting involved with the Protestant side of clergy misconduct.  And now they even have a branch led by Christa Brown for the Baptist problems of clergy abuse. 

SNAP has been very kind to have our book listed on their website. Please visit their web site at www.snapnetwork.org and scroll down to the section that reads "Books We Recommend" and click on that icon. Our book is the first book listed on that page.  The website has valuable information throughout.

Again our many thanks to SNAP for making it possible for  us and others to help raise awareness of the problem and to try and stomp out all forms of clergy abuse and misconduct!

Blessings,

Curt

Should Clergy Members be Fingerprinted like Teachers Are?

   Should there be mandatory fingerprinting and background checks for clergy before they're allowed to become a minister and counsel church members?  Would they be less likely to put their hands where they don't belong if they were fingerprinted?  Or at least slow them down.

   Teachers must go through background checks and fingerprinting.  Teachers spend many hours with children.  Catholic priests work closely with altar boys.  Protestant Pastors take children on church retreats, have access to children through bible study classes, choir practices, as well as many other activities in and away from church.  There are many opportunities for them to be alone with children and adults. 

   There's no doubt that churches are a perfect hideout for predators and pedophiles.  No background checks many times and no fingerprinting. 

   The country's leaders are calling for change--we think that changes must be made in our churches.

Interesting Article from the Chicago Sun Times

The following is a letter from Barbara Dorris of SNAP.  Please visit the link for some very interesting comments--especially the one from Pope Benedict XVI th on January 25 and the comment from Anne from Texas two posts below the Pontiff's post

Dear Friends,
 
This is an article from the Chicago Sun Times describing how those involved in the Father Daniel McCormack case, a priest convicted of child sexual abuse and currently serving time in prison, have been promoted rather than disciplined for the part they played in both allowing McCormack to continue to function as a priest even after they had knowledge of his abusive behavior and in the resulting cover-up.
 
Please add a comment on the blog and/or write a letter to the editor. The archdiocese's behavior in this case is particularly egregious and the archdiocese needs to be held accountable.
 
This is a good chance to express your feelings on this reckless behavior and educate people that this is not an isolated incident.

 

My answer to the blog is below:

  When will we see change?  When will all this stop?  The Catholic Church continues to move their pedophile priests to other unsuspecting parishes, and the innocent children are abused, their lives forever changed reliving their nightmare of clergy abuse.

    My co-author, Curt Szajnecki and I have written a book about the same thing happening in a Methodist church.  We've put together a workbook to help sound the alarm that this is happening in all denominations and must stop.  The innocents are suffering every day and the churches seem to only look at their own bottom line.  Where are the caring and compassionate clergy we've been taught to trust and respect? 

    We all need to shout out that we're not going to take this any more and call for legislative changes where the churches have to be held responsible for their destructive decisions.  There is no accountability, and the churches that hide the predators and move them to continue their heinous crimes should have their tax-exempt status revoked.  Why not fingerprint all clergy, as they do with teachers?  Without background checks on clergy and fingerprinting, pedophiles are allowed to infiltrate the churches.  Then the cover-up begins. 

    We join the help groups that aid those abused by clergy, SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), Advocate Web, and The Hope of Survivors to call for changes in our churches to hold clergy responsible for their actions and make our churches the safe havens they should be.

Helen Wisocki



Ringing the Alarm for Liberty and Justice for all - Happy New Year in 2008

   We're coming off a strong finish ending the year 2007, meeting so many wonderful people who are there to aid others in distress, especially Janet Patterson and David Clohessy from SNAP, Cindy Bolling from Advocate Web, and Samantha and Steve Nelson from The Hope of Survivors.  You've played an important role in supporting and helping us sound the alarm on how to read the signs of clergy misconduct so that we will make people aware of what's happening in our churches today.  We want to wish these groups continued success in 2008 as they reach out to help the victims of clergy misconduct/abuse.  Wouldn't it be grand if this was the year that we stamp out all forms of clergy misconduct and abuse.   

Thanks to Peggy Warren for inviting us to speak about our book and giving us the opportunity to announce our just-finished workbook.  Peggy's website is www.educatingtoendabuse.com giving victims a voice to be heard.  As a victim of clergy sexual abuse, Peggy's website is worth the look, as it is very informative and enlightening. 

We've truly been blessed this year with the publishing of our book and now with our workbook complete and ready to go as an aid for current and former church members or anyone who finds themselves in the presence of clergy.  It may be used as an aid to families of the affected victims of clergy misconduct.  It will also help chairpersons and other members of church committees be aware of how multiple episodes of clergy misconduct may affect a family and extended family of a victim and encourage them to take action when clergy misconduct is suspected or brought to their attention. 

The workbook is a tool to aid in reading and processing our book.  They are designed to work together as a systematic problem-solving resource guide.  It can be ordered from the home page of our website. 

We're wishing everyone a happy, healthy New Year.  May we put on the armor of the Lord and do what Jesus would do--spread the word of awareness to people that you love and care for. 

Peace,

Helen and Curt



Merry Christmas

   We hope that everyone enjoyed the celebration of the birth of Jesus.  As Christmas unfolded this year, it struck me that much of what we have to offer in the book is like giving our gifts to others on Christmas. We feel that our book is an honor to our Lord. 

   As we gift to others at Christmas, we hope that our book will reach out and protect the innocent from all forms of clergy misconduct. The gift we offer is to raise awareness not only at Christmas time but each and every day of the year. This is our prayer on the day our Christ child was born.  Happy Holidays to all.  May peace be with you.

Cheers,

Curt Szajnecki